Sakura is how you spell BOYFRIEND STEALER
by Version.INFINITY
Summary: "How could you," Naruto screams, "How could you, Sakura? Sasuke was going to be mine and you just had to seduce him with your freaking estrogen!"


**Sakura is how you spell BOYFRIEND STEALER**

* * *

_9:57 AM_

"Sakura," Naruto says, while frantically searching in his backpack before pulling out his notebook and newly purchased Hello Kitty pen. "Do you know why Mondays are the best day of the week?"

"Oh my God, you do this every—"

"—No?" Naruto quickly interrupts, "Well do not fret, because today is your lucky day! I will happily inform you why Monday's are the, and I do mean _the_, best day of the week."

"Just how many times—"

"Now, there are three critical things that make Mondays the best day of the week," Naruto states, opening his notebook to a fresh page. "Firstly, Monday Funday is the one day where the cafeteria serves its extra large Ramen special, with not just one, but _two_ extra toppings." He emphasizes his point by slamming a hand to a colourful poster, conveniently promoting the 'Monday Funday Special' on the brick wall next to him.

"Not only that," Naruto continues, "but Mondays also mean a movie during fifth period, as the entire school body knows that Kakashi-senpai never prepares any legitimate school work the first day back after the weekend."

Emerald eyes roll in irritation, as Sakura nods in agreement, "Seriously, what does that man—"

"—I'm not finished," Naruto states, abruptly cutting her off and barely looking at her as he scribbles loudly in his notebook. "Now, my dear Sakura, do you know what final thing makes Mondays the absolute _best_ day of the week?"

The question was greeted with an exasperated sigh.

"Well?"

"No," Sakura replies drily, "I do not, Naruto. Please do me this kind favour of informing me what truly makes Mondays the best day of the week."

"I'm so glad you asked, Sakura! The final and most important reason why Mondays are the best is because all of Konoha High will be greatly blessed to receive two hours and thirty minutes of practice from the swim team." Naruto's burst of excitement results in him standing up too quickly, discarding his notebook and pen onto Sakura's face.

"Oomph—!"

"Now you might be asking 'who cares?'" Naruto urges, as he begins to pace back and forth in the hallway. "Well you should care, in fact the whole world should care, because Mondays mean one hundred and fifty minutes of Uchiha Sasuke, with his beautiful body wearing an extremely tight speedo that hides nothing for the eyes."

"Naruto!" Sakura whispers harshly, looking frantically around the hall to ensure that no students were around to hear him, "Sit down and stop yelling, at this rate the whole school is going to hear our conversation."

"I'm sorry," Naruto says, using the wall to help him slowly slide down to the ground, as his legs were apparently lacking any kind of function. "It's just when I think of Sasuke, and the way his muscles flex, and the way his abs just glisten in the water, and the way he just flies—"

"—Naruto, you have seriously got to get a life," Sakura interrupts, exasperation heard within her tone, "This obsession of yours has seriously gotten out of hand, you have to snap back into reality—"

"—But that's the thing though," Naruto states seriously, reaching towards Sakura for the discarded notebook and opening it for her to see. "I'm going to make it a reality."

_Target: Uchiha Sasuke_

_Date of Birth: July 23_

_Height: 168cm_

_Weight: 52.2 kg_

_Eye Colour: Brown_

_Hair Colour: Black_

_Favourite Food: Tomatoes_

"You have got to be kidding me," Sakura desperately mumbles, a glazed look of disbelief in her eyes. Instead of replying, however, Naruto uncaps his pen and continues where he left off on the page.

_Mission initiated at 10:25 AM_

_Location: Third Floor Biology wing_

_Target Location: Undisclosed_

"Mission?" Sakura questions, squinting her eyes to ensure that what she read was correct, "What the hell are you talking about?" Once again, a reply was not heard, but rather more scribbling.

_OPERATION: MAKE SASUKE UCHIHA MY BOYFRIEND_

"…"

Naruto underlines with not just one, not two, but three bold lines underneath his freshly written work.

"You have seriously _got_ to be kidding."

* * *

_1:25 PM_

"There is no freaking way I am getting involved in another one of your shenanigans."

Squeaking shoes could be heard as Naruto chased after his friend as they climbed the stairs towards the second floor. "Just hear me out, Sakura."

"I did," Sakura replied, turning her head and casting a glare at the blonde, "the whole time we stood waiting in line for your stupid Ramen!"

"Okay," Naruto quickly stopped in his tracks, causing his pink-haired friend to pause in her steps, "First of all, excuse you. Second of all, as if you were paying any attention to me, you were too busy flirting with that new foreign exchange student."

"Was not! He didn't understand the menu and I was just helping him out, doing what a proper member of student council is suppose to do."

"Oh yeah, and I'm sure giving your number out like candy on Halloween is part of that gig."

"I—" Sakura sputters, her face turning as pink as her hair, "It was just incase he needed help again, I was just being a good Samaritan."

"Right," Naruto says sarcastically, quickly chasing after his friend as she continued making her way up the stairwell, "Anyways, enough about you, lets get back to the main priority: me."

"Naruto, we've already been over this. There is no way Sasuke will ever fall for you."

"There is no way this guy isn't gay!" Naruto yells, quickly lowering his voice after hearing his statement echo throughout the silent halls, "Like seriously, a guy like Sasuke, the hottest thing since sliced bread, could get any girl he wants and what does he do? Barely acts like they exist!"

Sakura's only response was the roll of her eyes, as she turned her combination into her lock.

"I've been keeping tabs on him—"

"—Evidently. "

"—And I'm sure I'm not wrong. Listen, in all of his sweet, glorious, eighteen years of life he's never once had a girlfriend. And it's not like he can't get one, girls are literally lining up for this guy." Naruto emphasizes this point by stretching out his arm, and in turn promptly smacking Sakura in the face.

"—Naruto!"

"We also barely see this guy interact with girls, I mean remember that one time in the cafeteria when that one girl accidentally fell and he caught her?"

The pink haired girl furrowed her brows, "What, no? When was that?"

"Like, two years ago, anyways, that's not important. What's important is how after he caught the girl he had that total look of disgust. Like having actual physical contact with the opposite sex is such a disturbance upon his life."

"I seriously do not remember this whatsoever." Sakura states, finally opening her locker upon the fourth try and searching for her textbook for next period.

"That's because he's not into girls, Sakura. He's into penis! Specifically, soon to be _my_ penis!"

"Oh my God," is the last words heard from his pink-haired companion before abruptly slamming her forehead onto her locker.

"Should you seriously be doing that? Your forehead already gains enough attention as it."

Sighing, Sakura ignores his comment. "Even if, and I mean _if_ Sasuke had a thing for guys, there is still no way he would fall for you. I'm sorry, Naruto, but Sasuke is out of your league," Pausing in her speech, Sakura turned to give Naruto a look over from head to toe, before clucking her tongue. "Like, seriously out of your league."

"Okay, let's get one thing straight, I am a catch. I'm like the all around great guy. I'm funny, have a great smile, great personality, ain't flabby thanks to my fast metabolism."

Sakura's response was a roll of her eyes. "Yeah, that metabolism, I'm sure that's going to be the wooing factor."

In silence, the pink haired girl closed her backpack and slammed her locker shut before finally looking up at Naruto.

"…"

"…"

"…Goddammit."

* * *

_3:32 PM_

"Are you sure we're allowed to be in here?" Sakura asked, jumping in surprise at the sound of the loud whistle that signaled the start of practice.

Naruto nodded in response. "Yeah, trust me. Anybody is welcome to come watch practice as long as you aren't distracting the team."

"Well we're not just here to watch Sasuke swim laps all day, right?" Sakura whispered, looking around and breathing a sigh of relief in seeing other students watching in the stands. "Or are we?"

"No, you're absolutely right on that one. We aren't here to be bystanders; we're here to do something. In order for this mission to actually commence we need to get Sasuke to notice me."

"So how do we—" She is quickly cut off as Naruto opens the metal entrance doors that led to the pool.

"Wait, Naruto!" Sakura yells, chasing after him and mumbling apologies under her breath after seeing the numerous 'No Shoes Allowed' signs that graced the area.

"What are you doing?" Sakura whispers harshly between her gritted teeth, as they continued to make their way closer towards the pool and an extremely angry coach.

"I said in order to get this mission going, I need to get Sasuke's attention right?"

The pink haired girl furrowed her brows in response. "Yeah, so how are you going to do that?"

"Like this."

The last thing Sakura saw was Naruto's grinning face before being promptly pushed into the pool.


End file.
